Tuesday 1 January 2013

Ten reasons why its OK to rape you - a handy guide for rape victims in India

If you are an Indian woman who has been raped. Here is a handy guide to know what are the chances of you getting legal justice. These are the Ten acceptable reasons for committing sexual crimes against women in India.
Reason no. 1
If you wear "provoking" clothes
Read anything other than a saree or salwar kameez. If you are planning on being a rape victim in India pray to god you are wearing either a saree or a salwar kameez when it happens. You see, the intensity of the crime reduces if you were dressed in jeans/ trousers/ skirts. God forbid if you were wearing shorts! What were you thinking woman? You weren't even raped! You were begging to be forced upon. The poor guy just did you a favor! Now stop whining!
Reason no. 2
If you were out  at 'night'
First let me define 'night'. It could mean anything after sundown, depending on the kind of city you live in.  The first thing an Indian woman does when she moves to a new city is finds out what is the "acceptable" time for her to be out. So while it may be ok for women to be out at ten in Mumbai, in Delhi a 'good girl' should be home by eight. Maybe even seven, depending on the locality she lives/ works in. God forbid if you happen to live in one of the smaller cities! The best thing to do is stay home after sundown. You see Indian streets become like jungles at night. Now if you walk into a jungle, you can't blame the 'tiger' (read men) eating you up. Isn't it enough they let you share their kingdom during the day. God you're never satisfied!
Reason no. 3
If you are out to have fun
As an Indian woman you must always have a 'respectable' reason to be out of your home. Read (to study or work ). Going  to watch a movie, to hang out at a cafe, to meet a friend - specially a male friend, are just not acceptable.You are a woman! Don't you know? Women don't need to have fun. They don't need to take a break or meet friends. All that base stuff is for the men. God has created us for higher purposes. If we forget this, it is only right that men remind us. So if you happen to get raped when you were out for any other reason than the two above, just treat it as a friendly reminder of your amazing superhuman abilities and move on!
Reason no. 4
If you are a prostitute
If you accept money for sex not only are your users allowed to treat you like a 'thing' and do anything to get their money's worth they are also allowed to not pay you. Further, even those who are not your 'customers' are allowed to have their way with you.  Selling sex for money is not like selling a service or a product. Imagine walking up to an architect and demanding he design your house, beating him up if you don't think the design was up to the mark, snatching the design from him and never paying him or forcing him to design your house at knife point cause that's what he does  do for a living anyway!  isn't it!!!!
Reason no. 5
If you have a boyfriend
Having a boyfriend allows you to be 'raped' in many ways. Firstly, the boyfriend himself can rape you whenever he wants because hell! he is your boyfriend right? (eye roll) In fact,  even his friends can have their way with you. You ask why? Because if you are brazen enough to allow him to touch you then you are obviously okay with all his friends touching you too. you dimwit!  If you have been raped by your boyfriend with his friends, you have no credibility. so what if he claimed he loved you, said that he couldn't live without you, that he wished to marry you. You should have held on to your honour. The day you allowed him to touch you, you gave him the permission to exploit you. He will obviously take your pictures, make your videos and share you with his friends. Now don't go saying, he cheated me, he lied to me, made use of me. Men can do anything to get 'sex'  it's your fault you fell for his lies. Come on! I am sure even a baby can understand this.
Reason no. 6
If you are married
We are not even sure if your husband can rape you. Ya, we know there is a provision in the law and all that. But honestly speaking. If a husband can not force himself upon his wife then where will he go? I mean isn't that the reason most men get married in the first place. To get it when they please, however they please  without having to pay for it or being nice to their partners. If you as a married woman "are not in the mood", "don't enjoy the way your partner does it", "want to be loved and cared for and not just used" you are using fancy jargon to encroach upon men's conjugal rights. Surely you need to be 'cured' rather than him.
Reason no. 7
If you are not married
This we are very clear about. If you are above the 'marriageable age'  (Marriageable age being anywhere between 25 and 30) and not married. You are so starved for physical attention that you send out these strong signals asking for help. Like an SOS from a sinking ship. Now can you really blame the middle-aged boss at your office or your Didi's husband at home for trying to 'rescue' you. Poor things!
Reason no. 8
If you or anyone in your family have broken a caste rule
We are a modern country but our villages still follow the caste system. So do our panchayats, leaders and political parties. Even our police understands these rules. The rules lay down stringently who is allowed to marry who, wear what, eat what, have how much land, do what kind of work, speak against who. If anyone in your family gathers the guts to break any of these thousand or more unwritten rules no one can save you from being stripped naked, paraded and gang raped. If you are the victim of this kind of rape heck the crime is not even about you, it's a 'caste' crime and not to be interfered with by the system. Now just pray that the men of your caste are strong enough to take revenge for the crime done upon you by similarly raping one or more women from the other caste. The more the merrier! Or that the local leader from your caste is cunning enough to use your 'plight' to propel himself into front line politics. Who knows he may even ensure 5 percent reservation for your caste in all government jobs eventually!
Reason no. 9
If you are raped in one of the disturbed areas
Disturbed areas being those affected by naxalism or terrorism or both. It doesn't matter then whether you are raped by the terrorists/ naxalites/ police or the army. In either of the cases you are just a number. Just curse your luck at being born in one of these areas and pray that next time god sends you to a mother in Delhi or Mumbai whose daughters at least have names!
The same reason applies to you if you were raped during a communal riot.
Reason no. 10
If you are born poor
Lastly, in India it is ok to rape you if you are born to poor parents. Now poverty is a relative term in India where almost seventy percent people are poor by most standards. Here by poor I mean starving poor. Poor in a bone crunching, hunger gnawing kind of way. Poor in a way that forces your parents to sell you as a little girl to the 'local' agent for a few rupees. Knowing fully well the hell they are sending you to. But doing it anyway cause somehow that hell is better than the hell they are living in. And because the few rupees will mean a few more months of existence for the rest of the family. This kind of poverty allows you to be raped by your local agents (to initiate you) the wholesale buyer (to test you) the buyer (to enjoy what he has bought) and then the second buyer, third buyer till you eventually fall into one of the thriving (but invisible to government) red light areas where reason number 4  begins to apply to you.
This is in no way a complete guide. if any of you know anymore reasons feel free to add them up!
The Delhi gang Rape incident is proving to be a watershed moment for the callous way in which  incidents of sexual violence against women are dealt with in India.The last few days have left us all in india quite shaken.  We have always been aware of the violence, crime and injustice that exists in our society, but have somehow managed to  turn a blind eye to it. This profoundly  sad incident has forced us all to take notice and react. As we welcome 2013 let us take a pledge. Lets pledge to never turn a blind eye again. Lets us pledge that Every time we see a girl being teased on the road, at school, college or office, we will stand up and protest. No matter who she is. That is the only way we will ensure the safety of our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends. Let us also pledge that we will remain angry with the government and continue to ask questions and demand that they listen to us. Let us pledge to not let fear overtake us . Let us make sure that we continue to occupy the streets late at nights, in even larger numbers. That we use public transport systems even more. That we continue to break the rules. That we do not let such incidents fulfill their larger purpose . Which is to push women back into homes and reduce them again to helpless dependence.  Instead let's make this an excuse for even greater strength. Let us all pledge to make the New Year safer, more peaceful and secure for each one of us…..

Sunday 1 April 2012

No longer live here

Hi!

I no longer use my e blogger account for publishing. I now write on justanotherwakeupcall.wordpress.com
I am not sure how i can direct the traffic there directly, so am writing this post. in the hope that it reaches those who read me here. thanks everyone!
sapna

Tuesday 30 August 2011

just another wake up call: A chink of humanity..

just another wake up call: A chink of humanity..: I open the door of my house and step into the garden, feel the fresh air on my skin.. and savor the dawn.. the call of the koel, the rustl...

just another wake up call: The Ingredient of Positivity

just another wake up call: The Ingredient of Positivity: why is it that some people become so negative, so pessimistic, so cynical that they suck out the life from themselves and others around them...

just another wake up call: just a point of view

just another wake up call: just a point of view: Reading "The Palace of Illusions" .. what an amazing book.. retells "Mahabharata" from Draupadi's perspective.. the familiar tale.. soun...

just a point of view

Reading "The Palace of Illusions"    .. what an amazing book.. retells  "Mahabharata" from Draupadi's perspective.. the familiar tale.. sounds so different .. What seemed righteous doesn't anymore, loyalties shift, concerns change, heroes fall, motives differ.. is really everything we think just a matter of perspective? the angle of viewing? the side we are on? If the Ramayana was written by  Bali's widow - would Rama still be a hero? Is anything in the world really black or white? simply good or bad? Everything is shrouded in shades of gray...clouds of in-betweens. .Then is our opinion really worth anything? Does what we think really matter? knowing as we do that our opinion only depends on where we stand.. Why then are we so glued to it? so married to it that we can bear to hurt or even lose those who love us for the sake of them? What makes our opinions so real to us? Is this one of the frailties of the human race? .. the tendency to see their viewpoint as the only one.. or atleast the only one that matters .. What if miraculously we could each one of us start understanding the counter viewpoint :Radical Islamists of  hindutvaists / Palestinians of Israelis/  men of women/ government of Maoists/ the privileged of the poor/ the rapist of the victim/ the doctor of the helpless patient.. would there ever be a conflict again? A scuffle? A disagreement? A fight? A war? Can all the misery in the world then ... just be attributed to this.. difference in perspectives and an inability to understand those on the other side of the fence.. too simplistic .. is it???

Monday 29 August 2011

The Ingredient of Positivity

why is it that some people become so negative, so pessimistic, so cynical that they suck out the life from themselves and others around them.. what makes them like this? As children we are all born into laughter, curiosity, trust, joy.. When do some of us exchange that for a permanent mantle of despair and unhappiness. Do some life events force this change, for surely no one will opt to live a life of  bleakness by choice..Maybe an unhappy childhood, loss of a loved one, a bad life experience forces certain people to view the world  henceforth with weary eyes..always on the watch for presumed treachery.. and when the slightest of  obstacles come their way they feel vindicated, their world view confirmed... on the other hand one also comes across people who face the worst, the story of their lives so twisted and turned.. full of adversities and loss and yet they haven't given up.. there is still the joy and the happiness , the urge to set things right, the power to trust and the belief  in a better tomorrow.. where lies the difference? is it that some of us are born to be unhappy and distrustful and others the opposite.. or is the mystery deeper.. Did god really make us all the same? is there a key to this puzzle? If only there was a magic ingredient, a wonder formula, a process by which we could make the change.. Fill these souls with the beauty of life in and around them, reveal to them once again (for surely they must have known it as an infant) that the world is full of goodness waiting to be discovered, friends waiting to be made, songs waiting to be sung, life waiting to be lived.. That would be a true discovery.. An invention to outshine all others...Discovery of  the ingredient of positivity! Can it be done?